Kyle- The draft is good, the only thing I can think of is to bring up that it is about the Spanish and the Aztec’s sooner so anyone outside the group won’t be picturing oh say, the nun from “Unyoked is best” going Disney and then crazy on the Spanish.
Michael- Um no treasure map or anything to find it?
Bethany-I think you have a great idea if you can keep going with it but your thesis statement is one of the ‘No No Statements’. It is a little too close to the ‘They are similar but different’ we were warned about.
Elana-Had to laugh, your thesis statement is longer than my entire introduction. You have a lot of good facts in there but if you are supposed to be able to ‘question and debate’ the thesis, it’s hard to question facts.
Alex- I like that you are taking it to another level, looking at more than just ‘face value’ what’s going on but you might want to simplify and shorten.
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